Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Save the Giants

In an effort to cultivate my deep, uninhibited love for Ewan McGregor, I recently viewed his latest movie, Jack the Giant Slayer  (formerly known as Jack the Giant Killer, but Slayer is just so much better).


It features Nicholas Hoult (the boy from About a Boy) and Stanley Tucci (that bald actor from every movie ever, though he's not bald in this one).
It was good, though I was slightly bewildered at the manner in which the giants were so wrongly portrayed.
First, the giants referred to Erik (the man who first saved the earth from the giants by heroically chopping down the beanstalk between the two worlds so they could not reach one another) as Erik the Terrible, while humans refer to Erik as Erik the Great.
From the giant's perspective, Erik ruined all of their evil plans. From the perspective of the human race, Erik did a good thing.
Giants never win.
And they should.


Second, when the humans encounter the giants in their land (in the sky), the giants genuinely believe the legend of Erik and fear for the disturbance of humans on their land (in the sky). While on earth, the humans didn't believe in the existence of giants at all and thought legend was just BS.
Now, come on.
If the giants were as secluded from the humans as the humans were from the giants, wouldn't the giants come to believe that humans were just as much of a legend as humans believed the giants to be?
And that's not all.
The land of the giants (in the sky) is basically just forest. And the giants live in caves. And eat sheep like apples. While humans live in fancy castles and trade things with each other and farm and such. Aren't giants just large people? Don't they have all of the same capabilities as humans? Why are they wearing togas made of leaves?


These are all of my unanswered questions.

So I guess you could say I'm on the side of the giants.
This just goes to show that you can argue in favor of anything.

That is all.

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