And Here's How This Impacts My Life Negatively

Once upon an afternoon when I was particularly pissed off, I created this document on my computer about the things I hate. I hadn't looked at it in a while. Here are its contents:

1. When people budge you in line. All conspicuously.
2. When the laces of your shoes get untied when you're walking.
3. When your pants are loose around the waist and you simply cannot bend over.
4. When your computer does something you don't want it to do.
5. Cow licks.
6. When you come home and have a zit you didn't have in the morning.
7. When you lose all your points when playing solitaire.
8. When the card you need to win is under an immovable card.
9. When the bookmark falls out of your book and you don't know where your place was.
10. When people borrow stuff and keep forgetting to return it even if you remind them.
11. When you forget your ski pass.
12. When people who are younger than you act like they are cooler than you.
13. When people yell at you and you have no idea what they are talking about.
14. When people don't listen to you.
15. When you get blisters on your heels and try to walk.
16. When you ask people to do something for you and they forget.
17. When your hair gets caught in one of the bobby pins in your hair and you don't know it.
18. When people dye their hair unnatural colors.
19. When people live in Minnesota and are still as tan as people who live year round in Hawaii.
20. When your nails break and it looks bad and hurts.
21. When you get hangnails. Then when you forget to clip it that night and have to put up with it for another day.
22. When you feel like a bear with a thorn in his paw.
23. When people always hit you and think it's funny.
24. When people try to scare you.
25. When people complain and do nothing else.
26. When people listen to their music so loud you can hear all the words.
27. When you are locked outside and the person on the other side doesn't open it for you.
28. When you're in a place where you have no access to chapstick.
29. When people complain and do nothing else.
30. When you get to school and realize the battery on your phone is about to die.
31. When you forget to set your alarm.
32. When all the blankets fall off your bed in the middle of the night and you wake up freezing. Then have to pick them up off the ground.
33. When you lose something and don't realize it until you need it. Desperately.
34. When you realize you like a boy and he goes and gets a girlfriend.
35. When people talk really loudly about something embarrassing. Especially if you are a part of the conversation.
36. When you get done with a test and realize you answered a question wrong.
37. When you sit before class awkwardly because you don't have anyone to talk to.
38. When a shirt doesn't look right and it was the only thing you planned to wear.
39. When your face gets really shiny.
40. When a cute guy stands all close to you and your body freaks out and you start worrying about everything. Like your breath. And your smell. And how stupid you sound when he talks to you.
41. When people ask if something is on your face.
42. When the floor is super cold and your feet get really cold.
43. When your mascara rubs off around your eyes and you don't know it.
44. When you are so tired of school but still have three classes left.
45. When you forget your coat and have to walk outside when it's super cold.
46. When people laugh at you when you aren't trying to be funny.
47. When people you don't know very well act like you're best friends.
48. When you hang something up on the wall and it falls down because the tape is sucky.
49. When it's super cold outside and you have to take off your gloves.
50. When people decide they don't like you and they've never spoken to you.
51. When you are really cold and there isn't enough blanket for your feet.
52. When your phone is ringing but you don't find it in your bag before it goes to voicemail.
53. When you accidentally throw away something important.
54. When you are hungry and it is very early in the morning.
55. When it is very late and you still have homework.
56. When you go running and get tired really fast.
57. When you look fat in your coat.
58. When you worry about a deadline.
59. Worrying.
60. When you are way more enthusiastic about something than others.
61. When you spill something dark on carpet.
62. When you spill anything at a friend's house.
63. When you break a dish.
64. When your socks get wet.
65. When you get out of the car and are surrounded by a lake of slush.
66. When you grow out of a really snappy pair of pants.
67. When someone won't stop texting you and you got things to do.
68. When you say something stupid in front of the class.
69. When you fall down.
70. When you pull a door that says push.
71. When you wake up during a really good dream and it will never come back.
72. When get stung a lot by a bunch of mosquitos out to get you.
73. When Joe Mauer gets engaged to some other Maddie.*

I also made a "Things I Love" page but it was far less entertaining.

*I have no idea if they are still together, but it really tore me up when I first heard.