I Really Don't Like Wearing Swimsuits

Because either you look good in a swimsuit or you don't and you can probably guess which category I fall into. I also don't like anything about the situations where one has to wear a swimsuit.
Like waterparks.
Waterparks are arguably the most confusing, disgusting, and shameful places ever. Everywhere you look you see someone that makes you wince and another that makes you stare. The water not only falls from every surface and tube to keep one disoriented, but becomes dirtied and transmits diseases as well.
So I don't like waterparks.
And then there's beaches. My parents told me that when I was three I refused to go in the sandbox. This mirrors the way I feel today about beaches. I hate walking across sand with my perfectly unsandy shoes and feeling the sand seep in between my toes and under my arches. And it isn't beautiful or exfoliating. So I guess I'm an indoor person who doesn't like beaches.
My dad showed me a book once that he had when he was a kid about fear from the perspective of children. It's audience was a little skewed, since the pictures were pretty dark and depressing, but anyway I read it. One page said fear was touching something with your foot and not being able to see what it was. This happens in a lake. Lake Sturgeon also dwell in lakes. They murk along the bottom and reek havoc on innocent civilians like me.
So I don't like lakes.