For a long time now I've wanted to own a fish. Or three.

I decided that if I had three fish I would name them Wade, Duke, and Troy after just a few of the great fictional romancers.
The name Wade is from a TV show on the CW that I shamelessly used to watch (but I don't have to post again about how much I follow the crowd when it comes to shameless entertainment, so...) named Hart of Dixie. And Wade, played by far too unappreciated actor Wilson Bethel, is a beautiful Southern man who frequently goes on outings without his shirt.
The name Duke is obviously from She's the Man, a capstone film featuring Channing Tatum. There are other characters too, obviously. Duke is the roommate of Amanda Byne's character Viola (Go Shakespeare! Twelfth Night! Wow! Exclamation Point!) who pretends to be a man and puts tampons in her nose and wow, I love talking about She's the Man.*
And finally, the name Troy comes from High School Musical (played by Zac Efron) because, just because. My three fish would woo the hearts of the other lady fish if they ever came across other fish that were ladies.
Even if my fish are ladies, these are the names they will be given in an effort to fulfill this dream.
I also feel like one fish all by itself in the lonely bowl would become depressed or fat from overeating, thus three's a party.
This dream of owning fish probably stems from my best friend owning a goldfish named Goldy.** She took care of her fish so hard that it lived for nine years.***
Yes, nine years. It was unreasonably large.
When you looked really closely at his face when my friend fed him food, you could see the love in his eyes. This is most definitely what I would like to experience with my fish. And it will be better because their names will be the names of popular teen heartthrobs, thus making them more exciting to bring up in conversation.
Like, "Wow! Wade, Duke, and Troy kept me up all night!"
I guess it could also be a bad thing to bring them up in conversation.
I also don't even know if fish make an exceptional amount of noise.

I'll end this post with a few fish jokes:
What do you call a fish with no eyes? ...Fsh
What did the fish do when his piano sounded odd? ...He called the piano tuna
What do naked fish play with? ...Bare-a-cudas

*I'm in a film class night now so no matter how awkward it may look, it's always important to italicize movie titles.
**My friend is really creative.
***I'm getting really into italicizing things. And we're getting into asterisks again.
Get ready.