Cartoons to LOL to

Hello all!
I have found some political cartoons that made me chuckle a little.
See below:

This one I like a lot - it depicts kids trick-or-treating and the man handing out candy takes half of their candy in order to give it to the kids too lazy to go trick-or-treating for themselves. One of the kids, in her thought bubble, thinks, "oh crap a democrat".
Because, everyone, even the kids who are too lazy to go trick-or-treating for themselves deserve candy too.
I love being a Republican.
But undoubtedly, the best thing about this cartoon is that the font for the dialogue is Comic Sans (We still love you!).

Here's another:

I like this one too.
Obama is trying to pick up the women's vote with his fellow jackass Democrat.

You're welcome, world.
Maddie

So I'm Dumb, You Say?

I recently finished reading The Dumbest Generation by Mark Bauerlein. The title reflects the book. 
The author certainly had opinions on the future of my generation and was quite willing to step on some toes in getting them out. His argument, however, made some sense. Bauerlein was expressing some concern about the overall capabilities of the younger, more technological savvy generation and how we are losing valuable experiences that mold us into cultured adults, workers, voters, and people. We need to know how to make choices! Solve problems! Be less dumb!
As he moves through his argument, he touches on each aspect to link together his overall opinion. He starts the book explaining our lack of basic knowledge and a blatant disregard for the knowledge we don't know. Then he moves into a description of the amount of time we spend in front of a screen instead of, let's say, in a museum. A point Bauerlein addresses throughout his book is the idea of illiteracy and a-literacy. Being illiterate means you can't read at all, no matter if you have a desire to or not. Being a-literate means that you can read just fine, but choose to spend your time doing non-Bauerlein-approved things. Then he rounds out the book by telling us that we are blatantly ignoring tradition, we need mentors to help guide us (i.e. teachers, parents, or other role models), and that if we don't we will have actually lost all that we had gained from our ancestors. Bauerlein often likes to pick a simple point and talk about it for 60 pages, but he does have a point. We are becoming dependent of technology and everyone is beginning to take notice.

The title of this video is so fantasically offensive that I had to include it. Bauerlein also manages to summarize his argument pretty nicely as well.
Mark Bauerlein - Young Americans Are the Dumbest Generation:

Two passages I agree with:

"Go to the gym three times a week and the session are invigorating. Go to the gym three times a month and they're painful. As the occasions of reading diminish, reading becomes a harder task. A sinister corollary to the cognitive benefit applies: the more you don't read, the more you can't read" (Pg. 59).

I like this passage because it explains the value of reading in easy terms. Reading comes more easily over time just like working out does. Not only is reading beneficial for the future, it can help me right now; what with all these standardized tests I'm taking for entering college, not to mention my daily schoolwork. 

"Books afford young readers a place to slow down and reflect, to find role models, to observe their own turbulent feelings well expressed, or to discover moral convictions missing from their real situations. Habitual readers acquire a better sense of plot and character, an eye for the structure of arguments, and an ear for style, over time recognizing the aesthetic vision of adolescent fare as, precisely, adolescent" (Pg. 58).

This section of the book was one that I marked up a lot. I loved the wording of this last passage and I completely agree with it. Reading is what forms writers. It forms people with initiative, drive, and dreams. My mom always talks about her favorite book, A Wrinkle In Time, by Madeleine L'Engle. She read it over and over and worked hard to achieve more so she could provide for her family better. Books benefit you in so many ways. That's how books work. 

Here is a link to an article that I felt was exactly what I was talking about:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2193496/Getting-lost-good-book-help-healthy.html

Two passages I disagree with:

"But the effects of their habits will outlast them, and if things do not change they will be remembered as the fortunate ones who were unworthy of the privileges they inherited. They may even be recalled as the generation that lost that great American heritage, forever" (Pg. 236).

I dislike this passage because it puts my generation in one specific category of failures. We are all the same; aimless and without a care in the world apart from Cosmo. It is condescending and offensive. Think twice, Bauerlein.

"It's not under-30-year-olds who have changed. What has changed is the threshold into adulthood, the rituals minors undergo to become responsible citizens, the knowledge and skill activities that bring maturity and understanding" (Pg. 160).

I ask Bauerlein, What has changed? You never cease to confuse. Times have changed but we all mature (to some extent, at least) at some point. He makes it sound like we have no chance.

The effectiveness of Bauerlein's argument relies heavily on who is reading it. If Bauerlein expected the audience of this book to be actual members of the Dumbest Generation, he would have taken some self defense classes. No, he expected his audience to be other concerned 30+ year-olds and parents of under-30-year-olds so they can be aware of the most effective parenting techniques.

Bauerlein also heavily relies on logic for his argument, and is constantly using scientific research to back up his statements. Throughout the book I feel like he is over-convincing me.

I definitely thought the book was credible and had accurate points, but it was offensive and could have been condensed into an essay - not a 300 page book (National Bestseller...?).

Thanks for letting me get on my soap box,

Maddie

Did. You. Know.

That vampires are actually not real? And if they did exist (knock on wood), they would feed on the life essence of humans (like for instance...blood) and that would not be a good time.
Lately, all of the craze has been these pasty creatures and there incredible sex appeal. Because that's all we care about...?
Oh, but of course Maddie! No one has seen Dracula movie with Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder!

See picture:

Keanu Reaves plays the chap in the vest (supposed to be an innocent human guy? Don't really know - I saw this movie a while ago) and Gary Oldman plays Dracula...the old pasty man with the wrinkle-face and fantasticly styled hair (seemingly impossible to attain since he has SUCH LONG nails...but whateves...he probably has people for that). But don't worry girls...in the movie in order to lure in Winona Ryder as his reincarnated lover (who is engaged to Keanu Reaves's character - oh snap - I know), he becomes younger...though he still has a wrinkle-face and fantastic hair (just brown hair at this point).

All teenage girls watch (and this might come as a surprise) Twilight.
See Picture:

Now look at this gem. Such a great shot of all the vampires of the Cullen clan. From right to left: Emmett, Rosalie, Esme, EDWARD (his name is in caps because he is OBVIOUSLY the focal point of the shot), Carlisle, Alice, and Jasper. Don't worry if they look sinister...they are all friendly, sexy, animal eaters. And this is what all of those girls are swooning over. Now you know.
What I always say is all that you need to make this movie perfect is take out the vampire bit, replace all of the actors that can't act to save their lives, change the dialogue completely, give Edward a motorcycle and a leather jacket, and you'd have it. THAT movie I would see (assuming that I haven't read all of the Twilight books and seen all of the movies...but I have. That's how I knew all their names off the top of my head...you didn't think I'd research that did you? Silly).

Here's a clip proving my point about this ridiculousness:

Now...after watching it and taking notes for reference...here are my conclusions:
1. Bella wasn't listening to him at all.
2. Edward was just trying to seem sexy but tossing all those sticks and running around quick.
3. This movie was poorly made.
4. The dialogue is very unrealistic.
5. When are Bella and Edward going to do their homework?
6. Twilight is an inaccurate depiction of vampires and how they spend their time.

Go home and watch all your favorite vampire movies (especially Twilight cause I know it's your favorite) and go outside when it's late, cut your hand a bit, and wait for your girl/boyfriend to come and meet you.

Have fun with that!
Maddie

What Halloween Has Come To

Dear Halloween,

When I was younger, you were about finding a costume, trick or treating, and competing with my brother, Graham, to see who could eat the most candy - he is a year older than me and I still managed to cream him every time (still do). It was a family event; with my dad taking Graham and I trick or treating and my mom handing out the candy. When we would come back from our travels, the four of us would sit in the kitchen while Graham and I stood on our chairs and organized our candy. As for costumes, well, I was consistently a princess and Graham was an assortment of "manly" men from all across the spectrum.  He was a prize-fighter, a superhero, a weight-lifter, and a crime boss similar to "The Godfather". 
We all make mistakes. 
But these days, you have become a night of separation. My brother is off with his friends. I am off with my friends. My parents are at home; giving out candy and not spending quality time with their beloved children. The night has changed forever. Last year I actually didn't even do anything. That is one of the joys of high school. Since I made the commitment to Marching Band, there was a playoff game that I had to play at and in turn missed out on any sort of shenanigans I would have gotten into. 
I'm not complaining about growing up and gaining maturity and "growing out" of all of my childlike ways, but I still wish it was custom to eat dinner with my family, laugh with my family, and spend time with my family.
I've got it! I'll just invent a time machine.

So take that Halloween!
Maddie

Forgetful Me

There comes a time in everyone's school year where it seems there whole method for being all falls apart. For me, that time is now. No, I'm not depressed or anything, just tired and feeling forgetful. I decided to blog about this because my blog post was one of the things I forgot to do and I am now doing it a day late. Sad times. Going along with my "whole method for being" I feel that I must mention the root of all my forgetfulness. I left my folder at home. In my drawer. NOT in my backpack where it belongs. I don't know how it escaped. But it had EVERYTHING important in it and now I feel sadly behind and stressed. I am staring at it now. All innocent and unaware of the terror it subjected me to earlier today. But, as I addressed before, this unpleasantly forgetful time hits everyone at some point and though it feels like the whole world is erupting in an all-consuming fire that destroys everything in its path, I am determined to not let the fire win.    I shall win. Oh, three-day week come quick.

Your lovely wisdom-spurter,
Maddie

So this video is from Aziz Ansari's Intimate Moments from a Sensual Evening, obviously playing off of the awkwardness of the title as it compares with his jokes. He starts his story out at Bed, Bath and Beyond, talking to a guy about sheets (and their varying thread counts) and makes fun of what the he says, "Man, this is why I need a girlfriend". The man clearly meant it would be easier to make the right choice if he had a girlfriend to help him out, but Aziz makes it seem sexist and inappropriate. His loud voice and obnoxious hand gestures are also intentional, helping the audience visualize the story. His voice adjusts throughout the story as the drama builds and Aziz learns that he was ripped off, "Advertised thread count: 600. Actual thread count: 296" and he explodes. Spurts of yelling and profanities erupt from the audience, while Aziz seems totally calm; completely aware of the effect his loud and sarcastic voice has on transforming his jokes to their full potential.

Maddie at the Mall...and what she sees

The woman and her daughter:
After a few misguided attempts to control her free-roam 3 year old, she steps into the line at the Caribou Coffee. Her outfit looks expensive; long sweater, pink scarf, dark jeans, and the boots that are a combination between rain and work (but in this situation, purely for fashion). Her daughter is dressed similarly. The daughter complains that she is hungry and quietly squeals that she wants something on the shelves. The woman shakes her head and instead points to an overpriced grilled cheese sandwich and coos to her about how delicious it looks. As she steps up to the register, she orders one of these sandwiches and asks if they have just plain milk. The pair reside to a table and she scoops her daughter into the chair. After their food is prepared, the woman fetches it and places it on the table.
I was behind them in line. After one glance and my observation of this scenario, I inferred a few things. 
1) The mother is obviously rich. 2) She got her daughter overpriced food she could have prepared at home or bought at a grocery store...meaning she's either a terrible cook, prefers high-end places to feed her daughter, there's trouble at home, or she doesn't know a lot about providing for her daughter all by herself. Which all relate to the first inference. 3) The daughter complained and asked for her mother for something. Even at 3 years old, I can tell she is a bit selfish and expects the finer things.
Overall, after watching them for a few minutes, I found my adjectives. The pair is wealthy, have an expectation for the for finer things, and wish to eat out (possibly to escape their troubled home life - usually a common theme among well-off families - this is obviously an assumption).
The woman is a caring and busy mother who leads a wealthy lifestyle.

The Mall Cop:
The man stands straight behind the desk, watching the busy people walk past. His uniform consists of a hat (that vaguely makes him look like a park ranger), a walkie-talkie strapped to his shoulder, and a shirt-pant combo that makes him look (rightfully) like a wannabe police officer. Later he moved from his post and wandered aimlessly around the mall, answering a few questions and giving directions.
I walked past him and then saw him again walking around and giving directions. At first glance I saw his weak mustache and the lost look on his face. I also inferred a few things.
1) He is too smart to be working as a mall cop. Is it to take a break from doing "difficult" things? Is it for the money? Is it because he is in school (possibly to be a police officer)? 2) He looked bored and obviously wasn't being fulfilled with his job (searching for a purpose). 
The man is a smart, capable guy bored with his job as a Mall Cop.

The Twins:
The two girls walk into the center of the mall quickly. The pair are dressed the same; same shirt, same jacket, same pants - even their hair is styled the same. One is about five steps in front of the other and both are walking very quickly.
I saw these two as I was sitting at a table.  I inferred a few things.
1) They are twins that commonly dress the same and are often together. 2) All of their life they have been grouped together and dressed the same, so they continue to do so as they grow older. 3) They are walking in the same direction, but not together. They aren't talking and one was obviously in front of the other.
The two women are twins that have always coordinated their clothes and hair, but are tiring of their coordinating lifestyle and possibly one other.

The Two Men:
They exit Brookstone together, one on the phone and one looking around confusedly. Both are dressed in camouflage and worn-down work boots. One is obviously older than the other, but both look out of place.
I saw these two as I was sitting at a table. I inferred a few things.
1) They are a father-son pair. 2) They both work outside (possibly from up-north). 3) The man on his phone was calling his wife/girlfriend/friend to meet up (purpose for being at the mall). 4) The mall is not their natural habitat.
The father and son are hard-working outdoors-men that don't often go to the mall.