"Gum-Chewers"

The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. So, here goes. I, Maddie Swenson, am addicted to gum. I chew a pack a day and commonly run to gum to solve my breath problems. Wow, I feel tons better. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.
When my German exchange student, Franzi, answered my question regarding what she had previously believed to be true about Americans (compared to what she currently believes), she told me that most of the stereotypes she had heard simply weren't true. She told me: Not all Americans are fat and we eat healthy food on occasion. But we do chew large amounts of gum.

Eclipse Car Cups = The greatest idea ever. $1.25 everybody.
Apparently there are those in other countries that refer to Americans as "gum-chewers". I am unsure as to how this makes me feel.
America is not a favorable country of origin if you are not, in fact, from America. Other places believe this to be the country of opportunity, but also a "dumb" and "fat" one. Americans believe that America is literally the best country ever and refuse to believe anything that contradicts that. It wasn't until recently that I learned we didn't score the highest on worldwide tests for students. We are raised to believe that America is a superpower in all ways. Anything that threatens us is ultimately dubbed the enemy and anything we do is AOK as long as we can cover up our motives for doing them later on.
Don't get me wrong, I love America, land of the free. I love being able to chew large amounts of gum and not be banished for doing so. I love being able to be sassy and not be stoned for non-conformity. I love being able to wear what I want and believe what I want. In America I can express myself.
But there are also no boundaries for those who need them. People who actually comment on Youtube videos and cut themselves for Bieber. Sometimes, America can be land of the "dumb" and "fat". But maybe we can change that.

Ca$hi

That title. Obviously playing with the commonly known healthy looking and expensive brand Kashi. I didn't make it up, but I found it entertaining. Below I have a link to a video about "Ca$hi" a parody of Kashi, that makes fun of the nature of this particular brand's commercials and more realistically applies their argument.
So here it is:
http://FunnyOrDie.com/m/7mqo

Just a Waste of My Time

Diction is what saves a piece of writing from utter disaster. When the librarian told you to read the synopsis and the first page of the book before you checked it out, she shouldn't have been ignored. Simply spend half a minute with a story and you can determine if it's worth your time.
Not that I follow my own advice. I've been known to fall in with the crowd when it comes to books. It usually happens the same way; I decide that I won't read said book everybody is obsessing over and usually do pretty well with that for a while. Then I hear some more about it and maybe there are rumors of a movie. Then I do some research on the book in question and, usually in a moment of weakness, purchase the book on my kindle and read away.

A brief summary of all the desperately cliched books I've become an expert of:

1. Twilight (I've read the entire four "novel" collection, consisting of Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn). At the time (seventh grade) I loved them. They were intriguing, addicting, and all the rage. I would have many a Twilight conversation throughout my day and absolutely loved tossing in my opinion. These days I never readily mention the lowly fact that I've read them all and if someone addresses me directly regarding this topic, I mutter a quick 'yes' under my breath and either change the subject or walk away.

2. The Hunger Games (The trilogy consisting of The Hunger Games, Catching Fire, and Mockingjay). This particular series wasn't as frowned upon and the movie certainly turned out better than Twilight - being that it was a far superior story (or an actual story). I didn't read the story until the purchase of my kindle last year, and when this occurred, I read them all in the span of as many days. When people ask me what I think of them, I used to say, "Oh, well, they were well written." Now I understand that that couldn't be farther from the truth. Yes, the story was intriguing (cliffhangers, anybody?), but that was all it was; story. It might have had controversial themes and a simile or two, but the only reason this book was so popular is because it was exciting and read like you absolutely couldn't put it down or you would miss some of the action.

3. Fifty Shades of Grey (The trilogy consisting of Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, and Fifty Shades Freed). Yes, I know what you're thinking. This one may be the most shameful. But in my defense, I am an addict of poor fiction. This book is everything they say it is and more. Whatever opinion you have of it, it's true. What most people don't know is that it was spawned from Twilight. Yes, this book is a Twilight fan fiction novel. E.L. James read Twilight and then wrote Fifty Shades of Grey. It follows a similar story line (Surprising new love, forbidden aspect, girl has to lie to family, revelations, dangers, can't keep their hands off each other, marriage, etc.) just a lot kinkier (more kinky?). I imagine it was intended to be a better version of Twilight, but really just manages to make me real uncomfortable real fast. Luckily, the movie hasn't come out yet.

So, is it really wrong that I'm reading these books? Granted, I probably should be spending my time reading books of actual character, but at least I'm reading.

Just watched Justin Bieber's "Boyfriend" Video. Think I lost some brain cells.

I recently read that it was nominated for some award or something and was intrigued (don't ask me why). In a few short minutes, it singlehandedly degraded all of woman-kind and was probably the most pointless thing I have done all day. It opens with him talk/singing with those waxed eyebrows of his (that is sarcasm there, not respect). And it pans out to show that it was being watched by two girls who are wordlessly nodding to each other in agreement. At this point I shake my head. But it only gets worse from there - I'm surprised I made it through the whole thing. A sort of party is happening on a rooftop with a gaggle of people dancing and cars parked around in a circle. The boys are all blinged up and sagging. The girls...well...they just aren't wearing anything but strategically placed strips of cloth.
The Biebs is sitting in his car as if he just drove up, but his car is surrounded by a few other cars on either side, and it looks as if he was just sitting in his car with his hand on the wheel for some time. Don't ask me how these cars got on the roof in time for the party. It takes him a good thirty seconds to get out of his car...what with every single girl checking him out. His hair, sticking a good several inches off of his head looks like it took him a long time to prepare, and it apparently works. A girl with an emotionless face and revealing toddler shirt approaches the Biebs, and they apparently hit it off. I will note that she is a good few inches taller than him, despite his hair.

After this amazing moment, the party continues in a montage of carefree and tan teenagers dancing with each other and their varied expensive cars. Then the Biebs whips out his guitar and serenades the girl he has bewitched as she nods sort of and continues to not show emotion. True love. Then the video ends with a still of their faces; obviously leaving the viewer with a wonderful visual as to how to effectively win the heart of Justin Bieber.

Ione Skye

I just read somewhere that this random person (the author of whatever I was reading) was and undeniably always will be, incredibly jealous of Ione Skye (ask me to read that name in any other context and I would pronounce it like "lone", as in, "lone wolf"). I was surprised because I just watched Dream for an Insomniac and loved her eyebrows but felt she wasn't too stellar, especially when compared to Jennifer Aniston, of whom I am undeniably more jealous of. Now I've never seen Say Anything (I know), but I promise to soon see it and then jump to conclusions.

But isn't that interesting. Everyone, and I mean everyone has those that they admire and/or can't stand because of raging jealousy. I wish that I could cut my hair super short like Emma Watson one minute and another I wish I could wear it long and proud like Selena Gomez (before she lost her mind, put purple in her hair and started aligning herself with Justin Bieber). But just like we have preferences to the males we prefer (some like Zack, some like Cody), we all have preferences of the most stunning and beautiful women to idolize.

I once had a friend who told me she wasn't interested in any of the guys we went to school with. I almost spit out my milk; since I basically had (have) a crush on every guy I saw (see). She was all about the way a guy was one the inside, like, his personality, whilst I could base all of my attraction on appearance. The same sort of categorizing occurs when we subconsciously pick our role models.

When this topic comes to the surface in conversations I always throw out  that I can't stand Anne Hathaway. This usually stirs up some thrilling debates over her incredible performances in The Princess Diaries and Ella Enchanted. I shake my head and bring up some of her other roles, where she was helplessly exploited at the hands of mediocre cinema. Havoc. If you've never seen it, I wouldn't recommend it. I felt like I was slowly dying. Love and Other Drugs. Would've been good; it starred Gabriel Macht and Jake Gyllenhaal, but she revealed it all and it failed to develop her character at all. Not one to watch with the family. Then there's Bride Wars and One Day. I have got to say, if you enjoyed those movies, just stop. There are plenty of other movies out there for you to see.

Needless to say I'm sure she has a lot of "gentleman" callers. But then bring up Carey Mulligan. If you don't know her, shame on you. She  knows what's up. I love her choices in movies (always classy - take notes, Anne Hathaway). An Education made me fall in love with her innocence and acting ability, Pride & Prejudice showed off her versatility, and Drive, well, Ryan Gosling.

And this coming year we'll all be glad to see Mulligan star alongside DiCaprio in The Great Gatsby. I'm proud of her.

I Love to Ruin Movies

Yes, that's right. I love to ruin movies. They remain to be one of the best things I've ever discovered on this planet; aside from Scottish accents, new sharpies, and french fries. A movie is a captivating story incorporated with music and handsome actors.
I have many  favorite movies.
In case you still have to get a gift for that special someone, these movies are great choices.
I'll try not to ruin them for you.

This one is called Ruby Sparks. It's about an author who writes about his dream girl and she comes to life.

It starts with him writing about her so he can be close to her - and then she appears in his house. It's a really cute movie about unrealistic things happening and has a very realistic ending. I loved it.

This next one is called Burn After Reading. It's one of the most hilarious movies I've seen a long time. Worth the struggle to attain - as getting movies these days is like trekking through the rain forest in search of a specific plant. You're going to have to settle for what you don't want; unfortunately. But take your time and find this gem.

I'd love to say that Brad Pitt singlehandedly makes this movie, but in actuality, he simply adds to it. He plays an enthusiastic personal trainer - very different from the other roles he plays. And it suits him.

This amazing cinematic experience is called Almost Famous. During my initial viewing, I fell in love with it's incredible attention to detail and felt like a huge hipster. This Christmas I've purchased it for my German exchange student, Franzi, because I want to share some American culture with her. If this qualifies as American culture since it's set in the '70s. Whatever.

This one gets three pictures because I couldn't choose which ones I liked the best. You don't mind, do you?

This one is called Me and You and Everyone We Know. I first had some hindrances since it isn't the most well known and was sort of random, but there were parts where I was laughing uncontrollably and parts where I was leaning very far forward in my chair.

This is a shot from the movie of the woman who directed it. She also starred as a main character - a concept I have never really understood - like the producer also being a main character. But she works it.

This one's called American Beauty. It's about a father's mid-life crisis involving exacting revenge on his wife for her affair and falling in love with his daughter's best friend - ending in his inevitable death. See, I just ruined it for you.

And Kevin Spacey's in it, so yay.

No matter your opinion of Tom, you have to love Risky Business.

It is just so much more than that one scene of him dancing in his underwear to Old Time Rock N Roll - it has all the ups and downs and a happy ending like any movie does. It also has an amazing soundtrack and score - it made me fall in love with Tangerine Dream and Phil Collins.

Now that's just the tip of the iceberg - there are so many more movies I'm obsessed with. Maybe I'll do a part 2.

The Benefits to Wes

As I have seen more and more movies (and trust me I watch a lot of movies) I have decidedly narrowed down what I enjoy.
For starters, my favorite director is Wes Anderson. He is a cinematic genius.
His movies are so distinctly his that it makes me laugh. He has a way of accomplishing something while making it seem like he has accomplished nothing.

The Royal Tenenbaums was the first movie of his I ever saw. I was instantly in love. He developed all of the characters in the best way - they wore clothes that told of their personalities and left a lot of the deducing up to the viewer. It was an experience.

It started with the main characters as children and gave an explanation as to why they are not only strange, but estranged. Margot, as pictured above, was an exceptional playwright and achieved major success when she was in her early teens, as her two siblings. From watching the introduction, one learns quite a bit more than is explicitly stated.

The story also seems to unfold almost uncontrollably before your eyes. Everything seems to go awry, until all of the loose ends tie themselves right up. The Royal Tenenbaums was definitely one of the best stories I have heard in a long time. And as always, great stories make great films.

Anderson's most recent movie, Moonrise Kingdom, was had striking similarities to The Royal Tenenbaums, so I absolutely loved it.

Moonrise Kingdom had similar themes and even reoccurring characters. In both movies, one of the two lovebirds is depressed, someone is having an affair, the romance involves two people that probably shouldn't be together, and the main female character wears an obscene amount of eyeliner. I imagine it is just part of the illusion.

Anderson always uses clothing and inanimate objects to portray time period and the personalities of the characters.

Even though the love story involves two twelve-year-old's, you still root for them.

So if you haven't already ordered both of these movies in order to watch them and experience their power yet, I would encourage it. It'll certainly be an interesting afternoon.